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I need some ideas for my Gypsy themed party.

theRussian — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:51:11 -0800

Ideas for a Gypsy Themed Party, Go! Hey guys, thanks for all the good ideas last time. The Communist Party was an epic hit.

The party this week is going to be gypsy themed. I am going to cover my walls and ceiling with lots of draped fabrics, have many floor pillows, and serve lots of wine in jugs. I've got quite a bit of music, and some thoughts about snacks to serve, but I need more!

I'm soliciting ideas for drinks, party favors, party food (stew isn't so great at parties), games/activities, etc etc.

Thanks everyone!

Get me a second date!

chrisfromthelc — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:45:38 -0800

First date activities in Houston...a couple of caveats, though... I've got a first-date-meetup-type thing with a person I met on $InternetDatingSite, and while I've been in Houston for two years (and she lives in Conroe/works in Houston), I am racking my brain trying to find something unique enough that she probably hasn't done it, but nothing to involved or complicated.

I want to stay away from the "go out to eat+movies" type things, though, interesting food places near activities are welcomed suggestions.

Another caveat: it's gotta be available after 6PM on Monday (tomorrow).

Thanks in advance, Mefites.

Help me name my impending baby?

mere — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:30:56 -0800

I'm looking for suggestions for monosyllabic girl names that are more unique/interesting than things like "Ann" or "Jane" or "Sue" but still familiar enough that my as-yet-unnamed fetus won't have to go through life spelling out BOTH her first and last names for people. (She'll have my husband's last name to deal with--something like Dziewolrgjeoaezkxyzski.) Examples of names I like: Eve, Ruth, Quinn, Claire. Examples of names I don't like: Kate, Beth, Rose. Or Ann/Jane/Sue.

Extra information that might be useful: Dziewolrgjeoaezkxyzski is pronounced like it starts with a J, so I don't want to pick a name that starts with a J sound. I also don't want a name that ends with the letter D. And randomly, my husband just doesn't like the letter C.

Fun Church to become a minister of? Marry people in Canada?

imaswinger — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:16:38 -0800

Looking for suggestions of fun (such as Church of Euthanasia) churches that I could easily become a minister of. Bonus question, has anyone been ordained in order to marry people in Canada (eg. ULC), and if so, do you have any recommendations?

Getting OUT in SF

pacifica — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:25:10 -0800

I'm a young (early 20s) gay guy living in San Francisco. I haven't come out yet, mainly because I don't feel like I have a supportive, positive social base to fall back on if everyone in my life turned away from me. I want to surrounded myself with the right kind of people such that I feel more comfortable being myself. So, specifically, I want to get more involved with the LGBT community and more importantly I want to move beyond the scene and meet guys my age in normal social activities. For instance, I'd be interested in a hiking/outdoors kind of group. I guess my question is, where do I start? How do I get involved?

Help me identify an obscure book passage from my past

Dr. Send — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:42:21 -0800

Many years ago I remember reading a book that included a section on people's creative output, and there were graphs that indicated how old people were (composers, playwrights, etc.) when they produced their major works. The conclusion was something like, there is a limited volume of creative works a person can produce in one lifetime, regardless of when in their life the works were produced. Does this ring any bells?

Tété-Michel Kpomassie: Where is He Now

luriete — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:46:43 -0800

Tété-Michel Kpomassie: where is he now? Whatever happened to him? I can't find other books by him after An African in Greenland; I've read he eventually received French citizenship and lives there now - but what does he do? He must have written other books or articles, right? Anyone know?

Help! I need a hand finding an apartment in DC for 3 people all about to commute in different directions.

decrescendo — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 09:39:15 -0800

Help! I need a hand finding an apartment in DC for 3 people all about to commute in different directions. I need to find an apartment in DC for 3 people. 2 bedrooms/1 den/2 bathrooms or 3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms will work.

One of us is commuting up the red line to Van Ness. He is willing to pay between $900 and $1000. My other roommate is going to commute to Suitland, MD way down south on the green line and he said he's willing to pay up to $1200. I am commuting to Crystal City, VA on the blue/yellow lines and I could theoretically pay up to around $1500 if I had to. I'd rather not pay that much more than my roommates though. I'm not about to pay their way. $900 + $1200 + $1300 = $3400. I think we could swing around $3400. Maybe a little more if the place was amazing.

We are thinking NW DC would be our best bet; somewhere around Dupont Circle. It seems that this is a good common location for these 3 different commutes. However, we could be persuaded to look into another location. U St/Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights/Mt Pleasant and even Arlington/Clarendon could be options. We all want a walkable area without living in the ghetto, naturally. The green line seems a bit shady up north. However, red line is damn expensive.

Where do you think is best for this amount of money/amount of people/type of commutes? Specific websites for help and specific apartment complexes would be greatly appreciated.

I'd love to find a rowhouse but they seem to be so hard to track down. They seem to come and go so quickly that it's hard to find them when I'm not living in DC yet. They are also pretty damn pricey.

Thanks for the help.

Help with Non-Profits

CollectiveMind — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:38:49 -0800

Does anybody know how to get demographic information on who is (or has been) starting non-profits? I'm looking for a study or a table or something that shows who is starting non-profits by gender, age, geography, type (social welfare, educational, etc.), income, education, political preference, etc. I've contacted the IRS thinking they probably have some of this, but thought there might already be something out there. I've checked with Guidestar, the Journal of Philanthropy and a few others but haven't yet found anything. I already have information on who tends to give what on the public side. I need to know who is starting and running them on the organizational side.

How do I teach GRATITUDE to my 9-year-old daughter?

VeniceGlass — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:10:00 -0800

How do I teach GRATITUDE to my 9-year-old daughter? I like to think that we raise our children with a sense of the world around them, and with the specific knowledge that they are lucky to have the things that they do. They never want for anything (though we hardly give them everything).

We're lucky enough to be able to manage to send them to private school. They get the clothes and toys they need, and some that they want. My younger daughter is always thinking of others. "How are you feeling, Mom?" "I should make a card for Grandma." It's a great trait and makes her that much more lovable.

My older one seems to subscribe to the view that the world revolves around her. I understand that children are, by their very nature, self-preservationists, and it's partially genetic. But somewhere in there has got to be a kid who starts to think of other people. Nothing I've tried seems to work. I'm close to tromping through the city with her and feeding the homeless just to see if it would give her a sense of gratitude.

Today, the latest, hardly atypical episode... complaining about not getting everything she wanted even during shopping for her back-to-school stuff ... not just threatening, but actually taking back the stuff we bought (as we've done before, on occasion) does not seem to help. We subscribe to the "natural consequences" school of child-rearing, but this one has me stumped.

There has to be a way to get it through that head of hers.

Recommend me a room for talks and drinks in London, that doesn't cost the earth...

handee — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:58:46 -0800

Can anyone recommend a room to rent in central London for an evening do? We'd like the room from 6.30-10 (or so). Needs to be able to hold about 100, with projection facilities, and preferably with the ability to bring our own refreshments (or to have decent and cheap catering).

Is there a situation when its good to give into an aggressive man?

Anonymous — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 19:46:45 -0800

Is there a situation when its good to give into an aggressive man? I live in a small place in the middle of nowhere with a few dozen other people spread out over miles and miles. My question is not a legal one; it has only to do with how to deal with a situation using both ethics and logic to decide a course of action.

My boyfriend and I have a small financial dispute with someone else in town ("Joseph"). We have basically no previous dealings with him. Joseph thinks we owe him $200 and we think we owe him nothing. We feel his position is unreasonable (and unsupported by the law). Nonetheless, we left him a check for $100 thinking it is a small town and to compromise is better than to make a fuss over an amount that, although significant, was within our means.

When Joseph got the check, he came and found me in a semi-remote location. It was broad daylight and outside, and no one was nearby. He made me take the check back, and became slightly aggressive. I told him I was feeling threatened and ask him not to stand so close. I was backed up to my car. He came closer and said, "Oh, you feel threatened? Well back up then." I edged around the car to get him out of my space.

He said a bunch of things about the merit of his position, then backed up. I didn't want to engage him while he was acting like this, but thought well it's not fair for me never to tell him my position either. I did so, and he was quiet and listened to my position. He said at the end that was fine and it doesn't change his bill, and that he's billed me.

He started repeating the phrase, "There are consequences to your actions, every action you take has consequences." I asked him what kind of consequences, does he mean litigation, and he just repeated himself or not answer or say something else. I tried to remain really calm throughout the occasion, not really engaging him emotionally.

Then, an older man that lives sort of around sometimes was driving by and my aggressor flagged him down. He then started telling this guy the whole story, emphatically and righteously, but still, I thought, aggressively. I didn't argue because I didn't feel it was fair to put this random guy in the middle; he looked like he just wanted to get away. He diplomatically said, "Well that's a relatively small amount of money. Sounds like something you all should work out," and sped off.

My aggressor gave a deadline of Friday to come up with a check for $200, "or there will be consequences." He said this several times very emphatically, and pointed at me menacingly.

A while ago, I started dating an abuser. Seeing the signs, I got out of that deal within weeks, but not without substantial fiasco and a set of slashed tires. Joseph going off like he was today, so many of the characteristics and mannerisms reminded me of that guy, and it kind of freaked me out.

I have identified several potential next actions:

1) Pay him the $200. My concern about this is I am directly rewarding very poor behavior, and is he going to think that I will pay him anything he wants whenever he demands?

2) File a police report. To be honest, unless I am going to pay him, there's no way I can't do this. I will be a sitting duck awaiting his "consequences." Please keep in mind that there are no cops for four hours, so I can't expect them to do any to prevent violent consequences, but at least there would be a record. His consequences may be nonviolent, like litigation, but the nearest court is also four hours away and seems a bit stupid to go so far over $100. I think he was intentionally ambiguous as to whether he might be violent.

3) Do both. I kind of like this if I can file a report anonymously, but I don't know about that. I think of his wife and if he could get so aggressive with me there, then I'm sure she gets it too. Once a man assaulted me (I fought him off), and I always always regretted not filing a report. Because if some other woman wasn't able to fight him off, at least there would be a record of his history.

I would not mind compromising certain ethical concerns and doing only #1 if I thought that it would actually make me safer, but I just don't know.

I would very much appreciate thoughtful suggestions, especially from people who have some experience or education with the abusive mind and remote living.

Musicians in "Mixed Marriage"

swarkentien — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 07:45:12 -0800

My music theory professor challenged our class to identify a married couple where one plays the violin and the other the trumpet. His theory is that the personalities of violin and trumpet players clash. Can anyone name a prominent musical couple where one plays a bowed instrument and the other brass? I would imagine that a saxophone player or drummer would be equally incompatible with a string player.

60's MusicFilter:

pinkbungalow — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 08:40:45 -0800

Help me make a playlist w/ 60's music? Ok, I'll be more specific - I like some of the british invasion stuff, some soul or funk and maybe psychadelic... not to knock the Beach Boys or the Monkees, but I'm not looking for that kind of stuff. I was born in 1964 and I'm thinking of things I might have heard in the last 40 years but not top-40 songs. Maybe some not-so-overplayed stuff, Stones, Who, Kinks, Byrds, Cream, Traffic - but not to leave out some more obscure stuff (Electric Prunes? Zombies?) I know ALL the Beatles songs, so no need to add those. And it doesn't have to be just british - CSN&Y, Hendrix...
I'm sure it can be a long list, but I'd be grateful for your top 5 or 10?

Coldstream Civic Week?

DickStock — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 19:59:41 -0800

Can anyone fill me in on Coldstream Civic Week? I shot this little video on my still camera. It was a saturday evening on the borders of Scotland / England, in Coldstream.

I was driving thru the village in the late afternoon and parked to have a pint. The main pub downtown was crowded and spilling into the street with drunken, unruly young males.

I went a bit further, to near the end of the village and stopped at a hotel pub. It was filled with older gents (like me) with their ladies, and they were all well-dressed. However, we were all drinking out of plastic glasses.

They invited me over the road to a public ceremony in the park. The closing ceremony, though it probably had a name.

Who are these guys? Who are the three up on the podium? Why is the guy cryin' his eyes out? I know it must be a very important ritual, this "Civic Week" but WHAT IS IT?

I know, I should've asked, but somehow it didn't seem right at the time. I think I was the only 'tourist' there.

Plus, I'm a 'septic'. OK

http://www.vimeo.com/343158

Do you ever travel east?

frances1972 — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 15:51:18 -0800

What does it mean to "travel east"? At work, a male student in his fifties asked a male co-worker (also in his fifties), "Do you ever travel east?" When co-worker looked puzzled, the student said, "The look on your face tells me you don't know what I mean" and walked out. We've been asking, googling, scratching our heads, thought of everything from freemasonry to heroin and have no idea what this means.

Who recalls these posters?

ricochet biscuit — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:53:22 -0800

Help me find a series of Democrat campaign posters from recent years. For what must have been the 2006 mid-term elections, the Democrats produced a series of posters which were nothing but text -- proper nouns, as I recall -- on a black field, on the theory that the associations alone were enough to evoke distaste for the status quo. It seems to me there were three or four of them, one with names ("Cindy Sheehan," "Harriet Myers," "Valerie Plame"), another with places ("Abu Ghraib", "Guantanamo Bay," "New Orleans") and so forth. My google fu is weak. Can anyone point me in the right direction?

Halloween icons

Unsomnambulist — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:14:17 -0800

Characters and icons specific to Halloween? I'm trying to come up with a list of characters, icons, and similar that are specifically relevent to Halloween (the holiday)... meaning not every popular movie monster would make the fit, no matter how "popular" they are around Halloween.

Clearly, The Great Pumpkin is at the top of the list. Jack Skellington, or some other Nightmare Before Christmas characters also work for obvious reasons.

The Headless Horseman fits because according to legend he only appear Halloween night. By the same token, Michael Myers fits... his bloody rampages coincide with Oct. 31st.

Ben Cooper might also fit... although it was the name of possibly the most famous Halloween costume company ever - cheap vinyl jumpsuits and a flimsy plastic mask. Loved em!

Any ideas?

First Ramadan Single - what now?

burhan — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:33:54 -0800

Single Muslim Father. First Ramadan without wife to help make food in the morning or with 'fun' ideas for the kidlets. Help! After 13 years of marriage, I find myself in the position of being single and having sole custody of my three children, and facing my first Ramadan.

We always had some traditions - decorations, etc. that we'd do. Now, half a year after the separation, and Ramadan is upon us.

I have no idea what to do to make Ramadan fun - honestly, after 13 years alone, I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this. What traditions can I start? What can I make for breakfasts for my kids (all under 11) that will fill them up, but not grind the morning to a halt?

Ideas?

I want to hear this broadcast again!

kepano — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:00:02 -0800

About ten days ago I was listening to NPR in my car (KPCC in Pasadena, to be specific) and heard a hysterical piece on Great Britain's success at the Olympics. Help me find it! A British columnist(?) was stating with great humor that most Olympics sports were in invented in England but somehow the Brits have become terrible at them. As a result they've striven to become the world's best losers. The recent downpour of gold medals came as a shock and the columnist wanted to apologize to the other nations for their success.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? NPR has a great archive but I just can't find this broadcast! Help!

HOW DO PEOPLE WHO... oh.

millipede — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:01:27 -0800

How do people who communicate in languages without capital letters yell at each other online? Bold? Italics? What do they do when html is forbidden, then? Or do they not yell at each other online at all?

(This was sparked by my annoyance at a woman at work who insists on expressing urgency BY USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS ALL THE TIME. My roommate studies Japanese and I asked her how people type-yell in Japanese, and she was stumped, and so was google: Hence, I ask you.)

wondering about origin of snuff photos

luser — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 07:54:28 -0800

Back in the mid 90s, in the early days of internetting, I visited the alt.tasteless.photos newsgroup for the first and last time; I saw a set of photos there that I still wonder about. (Gory inside) This was a series of photos taken in what looked like the eighties of a man and a woman who had murdered a guy, posing with his body in various states of mutilation (i.e., with his junk in his mouth, etc.), laughing and pointing. There was no question of it being faked or photoshopped. I've wondered since then who those people were, and why there was not more notoriety around the killing and the resulting photos. Anybody know what I'm talking about? (Note, I'm not looking for a trip down memory lane here - pls don't bother digging up links to the photos. I'm just wondering if these photos are in fact well-known, and what the backstory was.)

Feed my literary appetite.

wavering — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:29:21 -0800

BookFilter: My reading list is getting very short and I'm looking to the hivemind to help me queue up a few more books to get me by. My interests are usually historical fiction or techo/sci-fi kinds of stuff. I just finished Prey by Michael Crichton. Other books that are up my alley are Into The Wild by Krakauer, The Historian by Kostova, 1984 by Orwel, Contact by Sagan.

What other viewpoint altering, brain inspiring, society questioning or can't put down books can you suggest to me?

Batman & Neal Adams for Cheap?

snap_dragon — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:20:45 -0800

I am trying to find out if if DC comics is sooner than later (if ever) going to release the Batman and Detective comics runs from artist Neal Adams era in the 60s and 70s. I know they have released expensive colored hardbounds but I am hoping for some cheap thick black and white Showcase versions like they are doing for other titles...I know they do the worst titles first...but even Marvel is releasing their good stuff in the Essential series. Any news would be good. Thanks.

How do I transform my short term spurts of motivation/adrenaline into constant motivation?

decrescendo — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:41:45 -0800

How do I transform my short term spurts of motivation/adrenaline into constant motivation? I have some sort of motivation issue and I'd really appreciate it if some of you could give me some advice.

Maybe it's not really an issue, because I don't consider myself to be a horribly lazy person, but I'd rather be way more productive. I'd rather make noticeable leaps and bounds in my life on a daily basis but I can't seem to get the fire to do so. I love being productive and being able to say my life has improved since the previous day. I don't like napping because I feel like I'm wasting time where I could be getting something done.

Every now and again, I see a movie or experience something that really lights a fire under my ass. I walk out of the theatre and go "man I really need to do something more with my life, I need to be more well-rounded than anyone else out there". I realize that's probably not totally attainable, but I want to be shooting for that.

For a short time after this enlightening experience, I have a massive urge to work out like I'm in boot camp, suck up knowledge like I'm still in college, and just in general, be a better person and improve my life by a great deal every day.

However, this massive adrenaline rush to be something more only lasts for a short time. I wish I could somehow wake up the following day in the same mindset. That doesn't happen. I wake up the next day and am too lazy to workout. I come home after work and sit on the couch and watch TV. I feel too tired to do anything after work even though I constantly tell myself I should be working out.

I always seem to have an hour of wanting to bust my ass to improve myself but it never sticks. Do any of you have any advice on how I can keep this motivation fire burning? I want that improve-myself adrenaline that I feel from time to time ALL the time, not just for the rest of the night until I go to bed.